William Emery Caudill, Love of My Life

William Emery Caudill, Love of My Life
Originally uploaded by peregrine blue

I finally dug up this photo and scanned it to upload to my blog. There you are, my darling man, my bestest friend ever, in the days when you would come over after work to barbecue for me. I still remember every detail; the hand-picked flowers you you used to buy me at Passion Flowers, how animals always came up to you, how you twitched them toes when you were barefoot watching TV stretched across the floor. And oh what ahand at cooking and head massages you have.

WHY?

Me hacen falta tantas cosas, bueno, no cosas, sino experiencias que anteriormente me producian pasion. Encontrarme, por ejemplo, de sorpresa con Diego Maqueira tomandose un cafe en la Plaza del Mulato Gil, pasar el verano a pata pelada en Vichuquen, cagarme, mearme de la risa con mis amigas en Santiago, caminar por los caminos de tierra del sur aspirando aromas que la dejan a una maravillada de un Dios tan perfecto. Solo se logra esto cuando se camina harto como en Chile. Echo de menos el azar de los encuentros, las vistas por las ventanas de las micros y el metro, los rostros caminando por el Paseo Ahumada.

La naturaleza es mi mayor atraccion. Pienso que el mayor desastre de una sociedad civilizada es el alejamiento de la naturaleza. Cuantos ninos no estarian mas sanos mentalmente si pasaran mas tiempo libres a la orilla del mar o un rio. Po experiencia ahi es donde me siento mas feliz, mas tranquila, mas plena.

La responsabilidad me tiene chata. Quiero ser libre otra vez, dejar de ser esclava del pinche dolar peso, comer fruta fresca, plantar mis vegetales, ir a pescar mariscos. Simplemente dicho, relajarse y desprenderse de esta esclavitud.

Al menos sigo con la mirada puesta en las bellezas y disfruto de lo visual aunque mi alma este un poco descompuesta.

ENNUI

The weeks after my return have been a mixture of feelings. Although the sun is happy, the water in the pool is my favorite color and that one bird sings just for me outside my window, something seems amiss.

So my hands are my escape, mi desahogo.

80 hours of labour

80 hours of labour
Originally uploaded by peregrine blue

Latest work. Huge amount of time and effort went into putting together this wall mobile since each circle was crocheted and then handstitched onto a felt circle then stitched again t along crochet strand for weight.

I will definitely keep this one since too many hours of work went into it to even start to put a price on it.

And this evening I begin another of my art dolls.

Work in Progress Crochet

What a week. Bernardita came over to stay for several days and we went all over looking for cottons and yarns to begin the knitting and crochet phase anew. I have decided I must stay away from looking at other people's work and concentrate on looking within to picture my own fantasies and illusions. Only in this way can I really bring out my TRUE expression and materilaize it. An inspired work is good once in a while but I feel it really misleads me and frustrates me more than satisfy my creative instinct.

I began this crochet mobile with an old piece of driftwood I sanded. Lots of different sized cotton crochet circles will become a hanging rainbow of colors over a door frame.

Outside my window, my garden speaks to me. The colors are almost fluorescent. Watering in the evening is a happy ritual.

Feedsack art dolls and those of the Past

Feedsack art doll
Originally uploaded by peregrine blue

Staying busy with my hands. Made Quiche for lunch today and settled back into my craft room to create this art doll inspired by the latest Selvedge Magazine. I had picked up an old feedsack quilt years ago at a Thrift Store that needed tons of mending and then decided against it, awaiting the right time to disassemble and give new life to the squares. Hopefully she will begin to come alive and I will give birth to a family. I just love how she turned out.

Also continuing with the Real Estate venture in the Carolinas and possibly Northern California.

FRIDAY, I'M IN lOVE

What could be better inspiration than my worldwide friends?

Another Poem found in a scrappy notebook

When I write poetry, I usually write in Spanish

AGUDO

Respondiste a mi por impulsos.
Todos fueron acertados.
Me despoje de todo,
entregue el alma para ser tu sueno
en tu dominio, naci de nuevo.

Vi como tu mitad nino queria irrumpir en lo nuevo,
llegar a lo mas alto
aunque implicara metar las manos al fuego.
Y te deje despojar mi tierra fertil,
hiciste de nuevo mi cuento adulto

Al final tu guerra interior
se aferro a tu miedo infantil,
el instinto animal se rindio ante el espino,
la bruma era demasiado densa para descifrar mensajes

Por todo lo que sentimos
en entrana, viscera, corazon y mente
nuestros cuerpos permanecieron,
ajenos a la humedad y al tacto
apenas rozandonos y siempre en huida
recordada como un sollozo
anos y anos de sollozo tras agudo sollozo

Domino Art Doll for Swap and Self Portriat

Domino Art Doll for Swap
Originally uploaded by peregrine blue

Oh it's good to be HOME! Fresh strawberries (it's Spring here), my comfy bed, the view of the orange trees from my bedroom windows and family, not to mention a great book (American Sphinx-A Jefferson Biography) and the HBO miniseries about John & Abigail Adams which I have always admired.

It has taken me a week to settle in, re-group and re-think what my next goals are. I had such a good time, outing every day non-stop for 35 days that I kind of got used to vacation mode and coming home has been a cultural shock of sorts.

Thank God for challenges. The first is a domino doll swap I had signed up for prior to leaving and the second is a self-portrait for the ZNE network. The self-portrait will be more difficult since we were only given a 4x4 inch space to work on. I'm still debating whether it will be my face or my whole being.

Spring will be refereshing to start plans for Phase II of my new land in Bosque Vida, Chile. I have envisioned a large loft-style house with a big deck overlooking the native trees. Ofcourse there will also be a long walkway for neighbors and friends which will lead to a grotto filled with the religious icons, sculptures, paintings and carvings I have collected over the years. They will be able to come to pray, light candles, be quiet or just meditate. Hopefully I can create a man-made water cascade for serenity.

Tatiana and Jon

I will miss you soooooooo much while I'm gone. Girl, boy, please behave yourselves, act responsibly and, if possible, write to me every day. I love you so much and will think of you constantly, even feel a little guilty for not sharing the trip. Chilenos de corazon, unidos en las adversidades y en la distancia, VOLVERE con un gran VENCEREMOS en Puerto Varas.