hiraeth

i always seem to have several projects going on at the same time. and many more flutter in my mind. so i am beginning to make lists. i used to be able to remember what i wanted to say through my art, but of late the ideas come at me too fast so lists might work to feel a little more focused. 

i wish i had the ability to stick to one project at a time but i move backwards and forwards on several at a time, unsure why. some lay buried for months on end, others i don't like after a while. 

but fabric is my comfort for now together with some really mushy english period dramas. the change to daylight savings has not agreed with me. i always tell myself that i will skip the winter in some foreign land next season but i forget and then it arrives and it's too late. winter brings on darker moods, a sadness, a craving for more light. i don't much like the dark. 

i rarely speak now. most of my speech is turned inward and then outward in my stitching or my sketching or my jottings and in spashes of home decorating. 

i spend inordinate hours with myself and nature, kind of waiting for a sign. 

i still discover new hidden secret gardens in the midst of rosarito.

but where are my people? it somehow feels like a sleepy town and i ask myself, if a space so beautiful exists, where is the person that created it. and then they appear and they have no words. they seem to be in a constant half sleep. weird.

i love the wrinkled look of the linen

i started a redwork piece out of the blue with stitched words of one of my favorite quotes. ofcourse the word LOVE is there. as i said, i can't stay with a project too long, i set it aside, come back to it, add, take away, re evaluate and finish. 

letting it rust a bit like these roses

el niño has made scant appearances despite warnings.

this month, no painting, just scribbles here and there. and lots of photography and cooking since the cold makes me extra hungry. 

when the climate turns cold, i turn to the small stash of fabric i have managed to acquire at the secondhand shops, including a real wool blanket.

it's not easy finding linen or cotton fabrics in rosarito even in the secondhands. so i make do with a small selection of neutral colors for now. 

my coffee table makes do as a work table

and luckily i find convenient boxes for my threads

why is it that i am so drawn to the organic? the elements: wood, stone, metal, water above all. 

and the rustic

i wish for more days like this

but i also need to learn how to invernate

and embrace the darker side of life

wish i had more to show of what i make but i seem to be slower in becoming lately. 

you see, i'm only half there, half here. gotta keep pushing

it's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness 

t s elliot