Saturday, December 5, 2015

hiraeth

i always seem to have several projects going on at the same time. and many more flutter in my mind. so i am beginning to make lists. i used to be able to remember what i wanted to say through my art, but of late the ideas come at me too fast so lists might work to feel a little more focused. 
i wish i had the ability to stick to one project at a time but i move backwards and forwards on several at a time, unsure why. some lay buried for months on end, others i don't like after a while. 



but fabric is my comfort for now together with some really mushy english period dramas. the change to daylight savings has not agreed with me. i always tell myself that i will skip the winter in some foreign land next season but i forget and then it arrives and it's too late. winter brings on darker moods, a sadness, a craving for more light. i don't much like the dark. 



i rarely speak now. most of my speech is turned inward and then outward in my stitching or my sketching or my jottings and in spashes of home decorating. 
i spend inordinate hours with myself and nature, kind of waiting for a sign. 

i still discover new hidden secret gardens in the midst of rosarito.
but where are my people? it somehow feels like a sleepy town and i ask myself, if a space so beautiful exists, where is the person that created it. and then they appear and they have no words. they seem to be in a constant half sleep. weird.

i love the wrinkled look of the linen
i started a redwork piece out of the blue with stitched words of one of my favorite quotes. ofcourse the word LOVE is there. as i said, i can't stay with a project too long, i set it aside, come back to it, add, take away, re evaluate and finish. 
letting it rust a bit like these roses
el niño has made scant appearances despite warnings.
this month, no painting, just scribbles here and there. and lots of photography and cooking since the cold makes me extra hungry. 

when the climate turns cold, i turn to the small stash of fabric i have managed to acquire at the secondhand shops, including a real wool blanket.

it's not easy finding linen or cotton fabrics in rosarito even in the secondhands. so i make do with a small selection of neutral colors for now. 
my coffee table makes do as a work table
and luckily i find convenient boxes for my threads
why is it that i am so drawn to the organic? the elements: wood, stone, metal, water above all. 
and the rustic




i wish for more days like this
but i also need to learn how to invernate
and embrace the darker side of life
wish i had more to show of what i make but i seem to be slower in becoming lately. 


you see, i'm only half there, half here. gotta keep pushing

it's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness 

t s elliot

5 comments:

Starr White said...

Such a very beautiful and moving post. I have also felt myself becoming quieter and quieter these days, and I identify with so much of what you share here. I will light a candle for you....

Terri said...

Thank you for sharing...such a heartfelt post. I hear you.
Hugs,
Terri

Silvina {Enlunada} said...

mE ENCANTARON TUS PALABRAS!!! A mi también me pasa de tener varios proyectos en danza... creo es una particualridad de los espíritus curiosos... .Y también me hago listas... . Y también me vuelco cada vez mas a lo elementos naturales. Muchos cariños y enormes abrazos de paz!!!!

penny said...

Dear Friend~
I finally found you again..I don't know if you can remember me or not....I had always held you in my heart...but time, and things, well you know how that all works. I will never forget when I met you on The Trodden Path. I always loved your work...and I still do. I guess there is no more Trodden Path now, but, I do have friends that are there on Facebook.
I have been doing some different things. Such as some stained glass work, soldering, and not some silversmithing, and learning how to enamel. Lots of things going on in my head...sometimes just thinking about getting to all of them one day...well, I will have to live to be 100 years old at least!! I do hope this finds ou well and I wanted to wish you all the best for this new year 2016.

Rebeca Dominguez said...

Querida Connie; no sabes la alegría que me produce saber de ti otra vez, estuve muy preocupada por tu silencio. Que bueno que ya estés otra vez presente y haciéndonos a través de las redes, mutua compañia.

Un beso y bienvenida a bordo !!!